Thursday, October 31, 2013

You know, I don't think I've posted on this blog ever (even though I have three drafts that I'm deciding on not publishing). So this is my hello to the blogging world, I suppose.
I'm Gwen and I am currently a 16 year old, sophomore, white girl who lives in a privileged suburb and has a nice house and goes to a nice school and has wonderful friends and family. Now I'm going to refrain from going into a whole "but I'm so different from other girls" spiel, but I'd like to say that I am...not...oh, gosh, I don't know how to put it without sounding pretentious. You get what I mean (I hope).

My psychologist, Kate, has told me that I have "mild mood disturbances" and a "moderate amount of stress/anxiety" (moderate being the medium in this situation). Although, nothing seems mild about whatever's going on inside my head. I get paranoid about some things and am a little bit compulsive, but that would definitely be placed under the mild section of my head. I am usually indecisive and almost constantly stressed/worried/anxious for something. I feel like a bad friend because I have a problem with being left out and wanting attention/bugging people because I'm bored. I consistently have to remind myself that my friends wouldn't be friends with me if they didn't like me (they're too honest). However, my biggest problem currently seems to be procrastination and I don't know how to fix it yet. For example, right now I should be writing a paper for my US History class, but I'm writing here instead.

I'd also like to say that I'm reasonably intelligent. I don't mean to brag about it, but I've been in my district's advanced placement English program since I was in third grade and the only reason I stopped is because my high school doesn't offer honors/AP English until you're a Junior. I love math and science, but my grades in both of those classes have been dropping (especially math). I'm discovering that, despite how much I love it, I'm just not that skilled in math. I'm currently in Honors Algebra Trigonometry and Honors Biology and so far I have failed four math tests. I'm better in biology (consistent B's thus far). My mom's making me get a math tutor and/or ask my teacher for help, which I'm not good at.

Most days, it seems like my brain does more harm than good.

Anyway, my hobbies are really the only things that can put my mind at ease, if not for a little bit. These hobbies are drawing, dancing, reading, and watching television. I've been drawing ever since I can remember and my work is relatively good, in my opinion. It's sort of therapeutic for me, in a way. When I'm working on a piece, I forget about any other troubles that plague me and focus on the ones that involve my work. I can draw for hours and it'll only feel like a couple of minutes, and I love it. If you'd like to see some of my work, you can click here! Dancing is a different story, though it starts out similarly. I started to dance when I was around four years old, and I haven't stopped since. Lyrical movement gives me a sense of freedom, liberation, and relief. And it really does help to dance after a long and stressful day. Reading and tv are probably my favorite things ever, though. I'll admit, I watch way too much tv but that won't stop me from finishing an entire season of a show in one night.
...I think I'll just make a list of important shows/books instead of droning on and on about them.


  • Doctor Who
  • Supernatural
  • Sherlock
  • Hannibal
  • Orange Is The New Black
  • Adventure Time
  • Broadchurch
  • Parks and Recreation
  • Merlin
  • so much fucking anime
  • (fanfiction)
  • Lord of The Rings series + The Hobbit
  • The Hunger Games (just the first one)
  • The Fault in Our Stars
  • Looking for Alaska
  • Will Grayson Will Grayson
  • anything written by John Green
  • Harry Potter
  • Harry Potter
  • Harry Potter
  • Divergent series
Yeah, sorry about that. I just really like talking about that stuff.

Alrightie...I think I'm going to end here for tonight...maybe get some of my papers done.
Thank you all for reading :)

Much love,